There was a 5 week old infant sitting in front of me in church this morning. He was bald, dressed in blue, and spent the entire service cooing at his parents and smiling at me. I couldn't help from turning to Brian and saying, "I want another one". This was only one instance of many in the past few weeks. Which is where my dilemma comes into play...
We've put a lot of thought into the "when will we expand on our family" argument. There are pros & cons any which way you decide to space your children apart. We've decided that what seems best for our family is to wait until Caleb is closer to 3 before having another. He's 15 months now... even without doing the math, it seems like an eternity. There are plenty of times that I'm aware of how much easier life is with one child. There are others where I just can't wait until my little boy has a younger brother or sister. A lot of my friends are currently either pregnant, or have a newborn... both of which give me strange butterflies in my stomach. As uncomfortable and painful as my pregnancy was, I miss it so much. I now miss the times he kicked me so hard I thought his foot was going to pop out through my ribs. I miss the heartburn that kept me from getting more than 3 hours of sleep a night, and the afternoon/evening sickness that kept my body from consuming anything but plums and Captain Crunch Berries. Strangly enough, I keep looking at my favorite maternity wear sites to keep up on their current lines of clothes. I loved pregnancy clothes. Heck I still sleep in them sometimes :-)
Why wait then, you ask? Though the next time around could be completely different, my motto is always 'plan for the worst, & hope for the best'. If I was as sick as I was last time for 4 months, I don't feel like I'd be able to be the best that I could be for Caleb. I still see him learning and growing daily, and I don't want to miss any of it. I don't want to be too sick to give him all my attention when he still needs it so much, nor do I want to be stuck on a couch constantly feeding a newborn while he's still so young.
So, today my 'baby bug' has just been coming on extra strong, and I thought writing about it might help to lessen my ache for a newborn. Next winter, I'll probably be pregnant again-- laughing at how silly this sounds in retrospect. And for now, I'll try to focus on being content with my wonderfully blessed life.
5 days old:
15 months old:
...I wish these days hadn't gone by so fast.
4 comments:
I always wondered about your plans for, as you say, "expanding your family" and now I know - thank you for sharing. :-) Sounds like you have put a lot of thought into plans and that is wonderful since many do not. Hopefully next winter, you will look back and be proud of yourself for waiting and knowing all of the things you have enjoyed at your current family size and be looking forward to changes to come. So happy for you to be blogging again!
Maybe you, me and Janell will all be pregnant at the same time! Whenever it happens will be the "right" time and somehow you will survive...and Caleb will too!
I don't know if our family could handle three pregnant ladies...would be fun though. No promises!!!
Janell
I definitely understand the dilemma of wondering how long is to long to space your kids...but, if you need a little encouragement to wait, I sure have enjoyed the time I have had just me and Graham. I feel like I know him so well. So, for me, it has been really good so far. But, if the baby bug is biting, it sure is hard to refuse!
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