Guess who's back...

I had hoped I'd never have to say this, but Caleb's MRSA has returned. It's different this time though, so different.
When this struck us 10 months ago he was sick, the abscess looked awful, and the whole dredded event went from nothing to surgery based within 72 hours. This time he's fine. Seems healthy & happy, and his infection is quite small. Still, the culture tested positive, so he's on two antibiotics to kick it before it gets worse. I'm just so surprised because Brian and I believed it would come back negative. He had two little pimples at the top of his diaper area, which just stuck around for about 5 days without getting smaller/less irriated, so I decided to be proactive and get it cultured. After they stuck the needle in to get the sample, the pimples both lost all inflammation, and started to look like nothing more than a little scab. We figured since they looked like they were healing, there was no way that awful bacteria could be lurking around in his body again. Anywho, he's sleeping soundly, medicated, and it should be gone within the week.
My poor baby. Even though he isn't hurting this time, it still hurts me. I can't stop thinking that this is something he'll have to battle with the rest of his life. I hate to think of that. I continue to pray that God will heal him permanently though. That the MRSA will leave our house forever. I know there's a purpose in all of this.... I just wish it was clear and I could see it. Sometimes I think God's purpose for hurt is just to get you on your knees though. It's working. I wish it didn't take my son's health for me to realize I need to pray without ceasing.

So, there's my update. Pray for my little boy to be healed. While you're at it, pray for someone that you haven't in a while as well :-)
My next post will be happier. Promise.

Snow!

Though it wasn't much, we were all still able to have a snowball fight!

I Earned My Stripes!

I had this deep epiphany today. One that I'll probably forget about by tomorrow, so I'm writing it down for myself in the future.
I was sitting on the floor watching Caleb play this afternoon, and my eyes started welling up with tears thinking about how amazing he is. He's grown and transformed as a person so much within the short 16 months he's been alive. It's truly amazing. He's learned countless things since he was born. The changes he's gone through are so rapid, and so monumental.
It got me thinking about change, and how life... from birth to death is nothing but change. These changes aren't necessarily gradual, but come in spurts. Growth spurts.
So, I’m watching my beautiful Caleb. I’m marveling at his milestones, growth spurts, 4 successes on the potty, mouth full of teeth, etc... and at some point, I think to myself, “If you are so happy for this rapid change, growth and transformation in your son, then why aren’t you celebrating your own as well?” Deep. I mean, here I am, I'm a mother. This boy grew inside of me, and I'm lame enough to over-worry about about silly things like stretchmarks. It dawned on me how utterly stupid that is.
I tricked myself into believing having a baby is something I would "bounce back from". Instead of seeing it as a transformation, I just kept thinking it was a "situation" and that I would return to "normal" afterwards. I remember feeling so lucky when week 38 in my pregnancy rolled around and I was still stretchmark free. I woke up that morning, looked in the mirror before my shower, and loved that big baby belly-- there was definitely some pride in that morning. The next morning, literally, I woke up and saw something funny glistening in that same mirror. I immediately started blaming everything. The preeclampsia for making me gain weight so rapidly at the end, my genes, and I remember thinking to myself, "Why couldn't he have just come a few days early". I can't believe I was so selfish. I still am though. For the past 16 months, I've refused to look at my stomach in the mirror, and felt so horrified by those lines. Until today.
I looked at my stomach in that bathroom mirror today... with the lights on! Those things definitely weren't as horrid looking as I had remembered. So, tonight I feel invigorated with a new view on this post-pregnancy body. Heck, when you go on vacation, you bring back souvenirs... so this is just one of my souvenirs from pregnancy. My body worked hard those 39 weeks. I'm proud of that. Those marks are just a symbol of a whole transformation within me.
I earned my stripes, and for once... I'm proud of them.

An Obama nation.

Today was an important day in history. No getting around that. I was moved by the older men and women that came to bear the freezing weather to catch a glimpse of something they thought they'd never see.

Truthfully, I guess I never thought having an African-American president was out of reach. Truthfully, I don't think he's going to do things to our country that I'll agree with. Truthfully, he's my president now, so I salute him. I want him to succeed. I want him to accomplish things that will benefit Caleb and my future children. For him to do that, I need to pray for him. We all need to pray for him.

As I watched the coverage ALL day, I just kept thinking... how long will it be until all those people worshipping and praising our now president, will turn their unfulfilled hopes into curses and blame? He's only a man, and there's only so much he can do (and so much I hope he won't do) to fix things. Today is his day. He's basking in it, as he should be. Tomorrow, the hard work begins.

Pray for our president. Pray for our country.

God alone, not Barack Obama, can heal our nation.

Happy Anniversary to us

Four years ago at this time, Brian and I were speeding up Rt. 15 North to get spend a relaxing, frigid, honeymoon in the Poconos.

...through the good times and bad, in sickness and in health...

it's been a glorious 4 years.