I Earned My Stripes!

I had this deep epiphany today. One that I'll probably forget about by tomorrow, so I'm writing it down for myself in the future.
I was sitting on the floor watching Caleb play this afternoon, and my eyes started welling up with tears thinking about how amazing he is. He's grown and transformed as a person so much within the short 16 months he's been alive. It's truly amazing. He's learned countless things since he was born. The changes he's gone through are so rapid, and so monumental.
It got me thinking about change, and how life... from birth to death is nothing but change. These changes aren't necessarily gradual, but come in spurts. Growth spurts.
So, I’m watching my beautiful Caleb. I’m marveling at his milestones, growth spurts, 4 successes on the potty, mouth full of teeth, etc... and at some point, I think to myself, “If you are so happy for this rapid change, growth and transformation in your son, then why aren’t you celebrating your own as well?” Deep. I mean, here I am, I'm a mother. This boy grew inside of me, and I'm lame enough to over-worry about about silly things like stretchmarks. It dawned on me how utterly stupid that is.
I tricked myself into believing having a baby is something I would "bounce back from". Instead of seeing it as a transformation, I just kept thinking it was a "situation" and that I would return to "normal" afterwards. I remember feeling so lucky when week 38 in my pregnancy rolled around and I was still stretchmark free. I woke up that morning, looked in the mirror before my shower, and loved that big baby belly-- there was definitely some pride in that morning. The next morning, literally, I woke up and saw something funny glistening in that same mirror. I immediately started blaming everything. The preeclampsia for making me gain weight so rapidly at the end, my genes, and I remember thinking to myself, "Why couldn't he have just come a few days early". I can't believe I was so selfish. I still am though. For the past 16 months, I've refused to look at my stomach in the mirror, and felt so horrified by those lines. Until today.
I looked at my stomach in that bathroom mirror today... with the lights on! Those things definitely weren't as horrid looking as I had remembered. So, tonight I feel invigorated with a new view on this post-pregnancy body. Heck, when you go on vacation, you bring back souvenirs... so this is just one of my souvenirs from pregnancy. My body worked hard those 39 weeks. I'm proud of that. Those marks are just a symbol of a whole transformation within me.
I earned my stripes, and for once... I'm proud of them.